A Christmas Carol

So I know I haven’t blogged in ages and I’m sorry for that. You know me. I post very infrequently, and as you might have seen… the last month or so has been fairly frantic what with a few fairly important trips to the USofA.

Anyway, as the Christmas turkey settled in my belly, and the hangover begins to wear off, I thought I’d post something I knocked up over the past few days.

It’s all thanks to a tweet from Harry Agapidis @harryagapidis, which arrived on Christmas Eve and refused to remove itself from my brain as we started singing the very tune to which he had provided an alternative opening gambit. It seemed only right I try and finish it off…

So thank you Harry, and Merry Christmas everyone.

Hark, Heinz Harald Frentzen sings
Christmas on the Nurburgring
Adenau and Karussell
Helmets by Arai and Bell
Greatest win to crushing low
Stirling Moss and Fangio
Jackie Stewart, Jochen Rindt
Top ten team or end up skint
Hark, Heinz Harald Frentzen sings
Christmas on the Nurburgring

Seven crowns for Micky Schu
Fred Alonso’s stuck on two
Lewis, Jenson, just the one
Tabloids papped Max Mosley’s bum
Newey, Chapman, awesome cars
Hunt and Irvine whipped off bras
Monaco and Silverstone
Back to back or stand alone
Hark, Heinz Harald Frentzen sings
Christmas on the Nurburgring

Bernie runs the F1 show
Doing deals for massive dough
For this sport we owe him thanks
In ten years we’ll be run by banks
Red Bull, Lotus, Mercedes, which
Almost rhymes with Ferrari
F1’s greatest dynasties
Villeneuve, Hill and Andretti
Hark, Heinz Harald Frentzen sings
Christmas on the Nurburgring

So we start another year
Testing’s very nearly here
Freezing mornings spent in Spain
In Melbourne we’ll be bloody drained
Who will win the championship?
Who will end up in the shit?
19 races maybe more
Italy to Singapore
Chuck Korea in the bin
We’d rather race at Nurburgring

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11 thoughts on “A Christmas Carol

  1. Love it Will, rather rhyme too, my only issue was trying to keep the tune right in my head, happy X Mas. See you in Montreal in June.

  2. That’s a great song Will! Hope you are having an amazing Christmas! I am so happy that you got the job at NBC, but I knew you would. Hope to see you in Montreal again!
    Love, Cherish

  3. This is fun!

    Icy blood and steely nerves
    Through each circuit’s tricky curves
    Maggotts/Beckets is quite complex
    First and Second Lesmos are sure to vex
    Closing through the Senna “S”
    .5 back you can use DRS
    Eau Rouge flat, then race up the hill
    KERS discharge pushed by icy will
    Hark, Heinz Harald Frentzen sings
    Christmas on the Nurburgring

    Two abreast the V8s roar
    Turning into 130R
    From the tunnel brake for Nouvelle Chicane
    Full wet tires for the driving rain
    Engine exhaust, burning tire smell
    Thirteen miles through the Green Hell
    Starting lights out, climbing up “Phil Hill”
    Cowboy boots, interviews by Will
    Hark, Heinz Harald Frentzen sings
    Christmas on the Nurburgring

  4. That is extremely clever. I love it. Now can someone write one for IRL with a line that says “and an outstanding drive for Briscoe” and I’ll be happy. Great blog(no that I really know what a bloody blog is).
    It’s just some speak as far as I can see.

  5. Here’s another Will

    T’was The Night Before Christmas, When All Through Pit Lane,
    There Were No Milk And Cookies, Just Bottles Of Champagne.

    The Stockings Were Hung, By The Podium With Care.
    Hoping Newey’s Designs Soon Would Be There.

    Bernie Was Sleeping, Safe And Sound In His Bed.
    As The Concorde Agreement, Bounced Around In His Head.

    Jean Todt In His Onesie, Was Checking His List.
    Who Had Been Naughty? Who Might He Have Missed?

    When From The Paddock, Arose Something Quite Smelly.
    Paul Hembery Did Donuts, With Tyres From Pirelli.

    Away To The Pits, We Flew Like A Flash.
    We Heard Something Resembling, A Very Loud Crash.

    With The Light Of The Moon, It All Became Clear.
    Kimi Found Ice Cream, Then Dropped All His Beer.

    Charlie Whiting Appeared, At Race Control.
    He Had Just Arrived, From The Frosty North Pole.

    All Dressed In Red, White Hair And No Beard.
    With Shiny Black Boots That Ron Dennis Revered.
     
    His Eyes Were A Twinkle, With A Smile On His Face.
    He Began Yelling And Screaming, For All To Come Race.

    All Drivers And Teams, Rushed Quickly And Came.
    As The Stern Race Director, Called Them By Name…

    Now Vettel Now Lewis, Now Button And Nico
    On Nando On Webber, On Massa And Timo…

    To The Front Of The Grid, And Standing By.
    Chained Up Like Reindeer, And Prepared To Fly.

    They Took Over For Santa, Who Had Become Ill.
    He’d Been Forced On Stress Leave, After That Race In Brazil.
     
    Bernd Maylander Modified His Pace Car.
    With A Red Light In Front, Which Seemed Quite Bizarre

    Alan And Gary, Followed All From Behind.
    In The Medical Car, With Heated Seats Reclined.
     
    Charlie Was Strapped, To The Top Of Their Merc.
    With A Bag Full Of Goodies, And A Huge Silly Smirk.

    In The Blink Of An Eye, With Tyres Still Smoking,
    They Dashed Off The Line, And Left Charlie Choking.

    DRS Was Enabled, And KERS Was Engaged.
    But No Contracts Were Signed, Which Left Bernie Enraged.

     They Landed On Rooftops, In Perfect Formation.
    Like A Storybook Tale, With Murray Walker Narration.

    The Chimney Was Tight, Charlie Just Didn’t Fit.
    So He Delegated Duties, To Our Friend Aussie Grit.

    From City To City, And Home To Home,
    From Melbourne To London And Shanghai To Rome.

    The Fuel Cells Were Freezing, As They Sputtered And Shivered
    But They Were Jolly And Quick, As All Gifts Were Delivered .
     
    Back To Pit Lane, For Festive Celebrations
    As The F1 Crew, Beat St. Nick’s Expectations

    Not A Word Was Spoken, As They Got The Job Done
    Christmas Was Saved, Thanks To Formula One

    As The F1 Poet, I Say With Delight,
    Happy Christmas To All, And To All A Good Night.

    Author: Ernie Black

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